crispy greek tofu pita bowls with garlic feta sauce

I can’t believe it took me this fucking long to put a good Mediterranean-inspired dish on FMG.

I have about six meal prep containers from my two attacks of this recipe, and you know what, I ain’t even mad. This shit is so good it might make a tofu lover out of you if you’re currently in hater-land.

I don’t typically work with tofu unless I’m making my vegetarian bacon, mostly because I haven’t configured many interesting preps of the stuff yet. I understand how people can be offput by this wiggly block of soy: on its own, it’s rather bland and the texture is kinda bizarre. Even I, who’s not too shy to eat it at restaurants or whatnot, can see the yikes factor.

I promise you, though, one bite of these breaded cutlets will change your culinary life.

I might just make these crispy tofus all the time now, just for the fuck of it, because they’re incredibly good and an honestly convincing dupe of chicken. Spice these puppies up with some Greek flavorings and a little nutritional yeast for an umami undertone (something I also don’t work with much, but remember that I enjoy once I dig up the bag in my cabinets), throw some slices on a fresh salad with briney olives and pepperoncini, and absolutely drench your portion with lemony dressing and that garlic feta sauce.

That sauce, people. Worthy of a chain of elated profanities. Salty, creamy, tangy. Yo.

If you can’t tell, I’m hyped about this recipe, and I hope you love it as much as I do, vegetarian or no!

Chicken without Chicken

I was heavily inspired by Easy Chicken Recipes’ chicken schnitzel, but wanted something with a bit of a simpler dredge. I consulted my mom about using eggs versus a milk-flour dredge. We both agreed eggs would be best as the “glue” to stick the breadcrumbs to the tofu.

Now, before you start all that crap, make sure your tofu is drained and quite dry. I use super firm tofu to avoid needing to press, which will speed up the prep time by around 15-20 minutes. If you buy firm tofu, press it for about 15 minutes. The recipe card highlights the homemade contraption I use to squeeze the balls out of a tofu block.

Slice the tofu block into four “cutlets.” Since tofu likes to wiggly, this takes a little finesse. I stand the block up on its long side and slice in half, then slice each half long-wise in one clean motion while holding the tofu straight with my other hand. They don’t need to be perfect by any means, just not so wonky it looks like your wrist jerked mid-cut.

Prepare your dredge station. In one bowl, whisk up the eggs until bubbly. In the second, toss some panko breadcrumbs and flour with an array of Greek seasonings: dill, garlic, oregano, basil, onion, and that nutritional yeast I mentioned. You can find that in most grocers nowadays. I place a third bowl on the counter as well to clean my fingers.

Fill a skillet with enough oil to cover the bottom of the pan and heat over medium. Dip the tofus in the egg, letting excess drip off, then the breadcrumbs. I like to press more breadcrumbs onto each side with my fingers to ensure they get evenly coated. Transfer two at a time to the pan and fry for 3-4 minutes per side until golden and crunchy. Drain on a plate lined with paper towels.

Eat Your Greens

While the tofu cutlets hang on their paper towel beds, make the rest of the shit.

The garlic sauce is imperative to the recipe. I wouldn’t have included it in the title if it wasn’t. The ingredients list is short, just four little components, but holy wow is it craveworthy. Vegan or regular mayo, feta, lemon juice, and lots of fresh garlic. Whip it up in your food processor until creamy. Lick the sides of the bowl. Do it.

Along with that incredible garlic sauce, I also made a simple dijon vinaigrette for the salad. This dressing isn’t urgent, but I love it over the fresh greens and tend to use vinaigrettes for marinades if I have leftovers. Plus, someone in your house might be a heathen and not want the garlic sauce. The vin is highlighted by plenty of dijon, lemon juice, white balsamic vinegar, and a touch of honey. Takes just an extra couple minutes!

The salad combines chopped romaine, green or black olives (I used green because I found this really cool jar of Moroccan green olives that just sounded interesting), pepperonicini, and an ass ton of chopped fresh herbs. I love dill, basil, and mint, but use what you have. Chives would be dope too. Toss it all together.

Last, cut up some baby cucumbers – also known as Persian cucumbers in professional terms – and pull out that jar of pickled red onions from your fridge. I am enamored by pickled onions and always have some on hand nowadays. How could you not? They’re gorgeous.

Build your bowl however the fuck you want. I like to toss my salad with a little of the vinaigrette, then top with a cutlet, plenty of pickled onions, and extra dill. I add some pita or naan to scoop up portions and especially to grab that garlic sauce. Unf.

You could steam up some rice or farro or whatever as your carb, too, if you’re lacking pita/naan. Quinoa would be nice, too.

Have I converted you to tofu yet? Give it a try, people. Open up your minds, and your mouths, and your…nevermind.

Tried this recipe out? Leave a rating and comment below with your thoughts, and don’t forget to come say hi on Instagram and show me what you made!

More meatless bowls:

Sheet Pan Spicy Sweet Potato Fajita Bowls

Bourbon BBQ Chickpea Meatball Bowls with Minty Mango Salsa

Spicy Chipotle Jackfruit and White Bean Burrito Bowls

Spicy Sesame Orange Tempeh Bowls