homemade apple pie bagels

“It smells like a fucken Auntie Anne’s Pretzel stand.” – Me texting my mom and sister as I pulled out a batch of these Homemade Apple Pie Bagels and almost died of nostalgia.

Honestly, these bagels are why I was so hyped to make the Slow Cooker Spiced Apple Pumpkin Butter.

Bagels are a trek I refused to take after seriously botching some random pumpernickel rounds I tried awhile back. After these, though, I realized that the art of bagelry isn’t as complex as I once thought – unless, of course, you want to go New York-style and really amp up the craft, but I don’t have the time or attention span for such and all of the delis in New York will perpetually beat my renditions regardless of how long I work towards it.

So, I dressed the beloved carb in apple butter, and brushed its cheeks in glossy butter and sparkly cinnamon sugar. Not to mention, these are far more friendly for the everyday home. No overnight proofing, no devilry or selling your soul to the bagel deities, just simple ingredients and a whole lot of kitchen fun.

Worth noting a few keys to successful bagelage. Bagels are bagels largely due to their texture, and of course that donut-like bodice.

Two rises. Not unusual for breads in general, but a bagel’s second rise is actually shorter. Extremely important not to skimp, however, else you’ll end up with a flat, weird slab.

The hole. A bagel without a hole is a roll.

Boiling. Specifically, boiling with a sugar source. The process creates the chewy, soft interior and crisp exterior we all know and love. And if you don’t know and love it, well, you’re about to. That’s a threat.

Egg wash. Again, texture, folks. We’re talkin’ about texture. Plus, a nice golden exterior.

Some extras? A hint of melted butter and cinnamon sugar, which certainly aren’t typical, but I find necessary to justify naming these guys “Apple Pie Bagels.” J actually thought I was baking a pie from the wafts he caught downstairs.

The final touch is an easy whipped maple cinnamon cream cheese, because bagels demand toppings. It’s super easy, requires only three ingredients, and stores beautifully for other bagel baking adventures – honestly, you won’t just make these once.

All Rise!

No, there’s no judge walking in. Sit your ass back down.

First step is proofing the yeast in a large bowl of warm water. Warm water means just that – warm. You should be able to poke a finger in and feel comfortable, not like you just stuck your hand in the lava of Mount Doom. If you’ve reached that temperature, stir in a spoonful of the apple butter you’ll need for the bagels and pour in the yeast. The sugars in the apple butter give the yeast something to feast upon. Let it proof for 5-10 minutes until bubbly. Not frothy? Try again, the yeast is done. You murderous fiend.

Once the yeast is nice and poofy, stir in the remaining apple butter, cinnamon, ginger, clove, and a bit of salt. Then, measure and add flour one cup at a time, stirring between each addition. Keep adding flour until the dough pulls away from the bowl and is no longer sticky and gooey. If you reach 4 cups and the dough is still wet, reduce to adding 1 tablespoon at a time. You shouldn’t need more than 4 1/2 cups.

Dump the dough onto a clean, floured surface and knead until smooth and tacky. Grease a clean bowl, flip the dough so both sides are covered in the oil, then cover and rise for an hour or so until doubled.

While you wait, whisk together some sugar and cinnamon to create the cinnamon sugar fairy dust you’ll need later.

Boiled It!

Please say that in your best SpongeBob voice.

Dough ready to bagelify? Line two baking sheets with parchment and sprinkle with cornmeal (which helps prevent sticking), then preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Punch it down and divide into 8 large balls. Prod a hole about 1 inch in diameter through each and set onto the prepared baking sheets. Cover and rise 15 minutes.

As the bagels rise the second time, boil a big ole pot of water with brown sugar stirred into the ruckus. Drop the bagels in two at a time, or three if you have a really large pot, and cook 45 seconds per side. Drain excess water from the bagels and place back onto the baking sheets. Repeat until all bagels are done.

Whisk an egg and brush onto the bagel tops. Bake the bagels with 15 minutes, then take em out and give them a big old kiss with melted butter. Dust with cinnamon sugar. Return to the oven (the bagels, not you) and bake 5-10 minutes more until golden.

Your house will smell of baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet. Just kidding. Only the apple pie part. If it smells of the other listed components, you’ve got a different issue on your hands, kids.

I am one to create savory sandwiches with sweet bagels. I love that juxtaposition, and think these would be great with some eggs and avocado, or smoked salmon and cream cheese. I wouldn’t go as far as hummus.

BUT, of course, cream cheese is classic and whipped maple cinnamon cream cheese is even better. All you need is a hand or stand mixer, a block of CC, maple syrup, and cinnamon. Whiz it up until creamy and fluffy and spread that shit in every cranny of the bagel for breakfast or a snack or just because you feel like it. More power to you.

Tried this recipe out? Leave a comment below with your thoughts, and don’t forget to come say hi on Instagram and show me what you made!