mango crunch salad with spicy cilantro ranch

I ate like shit this past weekend, so big fat salad it is to start the week.

Of course, I counter that claim nicely by munching a “turkey” sandwich with potato chips for lunch, and right after I finish this post I’m gonna go for a walk to get ice cream. But hey, dinner will be salad. And probably a slice of leftover pizza.

Whatever. I give up.

I don’t feel particularly great about things right now, but I do find some joy in colorful meals. I don’t know…emotional vacuum would be the best way to describe my mental state currently. I find it funny that seasonal depression is linked to winter – with good scientific backup, obviously – but I think summertime has its own version. Hot weather makes my soul itchy and clammy. My motivation gets shot in the foot. I generally just have a blah attitude towards most pasttimes.

Don’t mean to make this a trauma dump, but hey, it’s my website, and maybe some of ya’ll can relate. If you can, hugs.

I never believe in food as punishment, but if you’re eyeing a few more veggies this week sans sacrificing flavor goodness, consider this Mango Crunch Salad your savior. Loaded up with produce, dressed in a tangy homemade cilantro ranch – kicked up with a jalapeno, as if I’m walloping my shit poor attitude with a pepper.

Also a fabulous meal prep. Our sturdy, leafy friend kale holds up well to dressing for several days, so no sweat if you need a work-friendly option for food.

Corny Jokes

I’d usually have one or two in my back pocket to fold into a paper football and fling at you, but today I’ve got nothing, so let’s talk the recipe.

Grilling corn gives me as much satisfaction as grilling bread: char marks really do heighten the flavor and presentation of certain foods. You can, of course, boil or steam the corn if you’d like, but if you’ve got access to a grill or grill pan, highly recommend you prep our starchy pal this way.

Strip the corn and pop onto your grill pan for about 10-12 minutes total, turning every couple minutes to nicely blacken each side. Let it cool until you can touch it without recoiling, then slice the kernels off with a serrated knife.

The rest of your produce you merely need to chop up: kale, mangos, avocado, and cucumbers. Crumble up some feta and measure out a nice heap of pepitas – sunflower seeds also work. But before you toss it all together…

Kale Masseuse

Yep, that’s your job. Give the kale greens a nice rub down with some of your cilantro ranch. Which I should probably tell you how to make.

Easy enough and similar to most of my other ranch recipes, except I added some vegan mayonnaise for an extra creamy finish. Combine with plain Greek yogurt, buttermilk, cilantro, a deseeded jalapeno (you can omit this if you don’t want the heat), chives, dried dill, garlic powder, onion powder, and lime juice. Whip until smooth, taste and adjust salt and pepper.

Throw the kale into a big bowl and massage with a bit of the cilantro ranch. This mellows the temper of the green, removing some of the bitterness. Wish a massage would do that for me. Then add in the rest of the shit I just mentioned, flip and toss it around until combined.

Divide your salad into bowls and serve with the rest of the ranch on the side. Douse your portion if you wish. Or, omit the avocado from your salad and divvy up into meal prep bowls. Avocado browns fast, so it’s best to wait until you’re ready to eat the salad before adding the fatty fruit friend.

Dunno why I’m referring to produce as friends and pals today. Maybe I need more friends and pals so I’m personifying plants to fill the void.

Hey, nothing wrong with chlorophyll-laden companions. Enjoy the salad!

Tried this recipe out? Leave a rating and comment with your thoughts, and don’t forget to come say hi on Instagram and show me what you made!

Summery salads on demand:

Chipotle Street Corn Dip Pasta Salad

Pizza Night Italian Chopped Salad

Spicy Roasted Sweet Potato Kale and Feta Salad

Italian Chopped Olive and White Bean Salad

Charred Corn Salad with Tomatoes and Chickpeas