sidebar | life and training 11.6 – 11.12

2023 needs to go away.

I say that also knowing that I don’t want time to rush by. No real solution to feeling like these months are extra cruel and wanting them to pass, while also slowing things down and ensuring all the good parts don’t go unnoticed and all the things with expiry don’t vanish without my noticing.

But, this week was quite rotten. Trying. Had some successes here and there, but the emotional tax was great. I cried a lot, even screamed violently into a pillow. Ran 5 miles on a hot afternoon and felt tired from it the next morning. Every release was rather cathartic, but sometimes it’s too bad we need a catharsis to carry us into the next minutes, hours, days.

On Saturday I watched a whole season of the show Shrinking, which only has that one season so far. A nice feel-good series. I drank most a bottle of wine and found myself sobbing uncontrollably for a solid hour. I think because it hit me that I’m so disconnected from things right now – I’m occupying my body yet my soul is floating next to me, observing, unsure of what to prioritize and how to grab hold of such things again. I don’t know what to do about anything. So I’m kinda just sitting on my haunches, waiting.

Yep. It’s a struggle right now. I’m feeling decidedly unholiday-ish. My Thanksgiving menu is in the works but honestly it will probably be a semi-shitshow of a post. Forgive me. I’m going out to Target today and maybe I’ll find some fun tablescape things to showcase. That was my favorite part about my Thanksgiving menu last year, was styling a quasi-table. Hoping I can zen out into the right mindset while I’m running errands.

I think this week I need to do some kind of self-care each day. I feel like I say that shit a lot but it’s especially relevant right now. Over the weekend I’ve got a haircut appointment (finally) and booked a night at a hotel just so I could escape. Should be nice, honestly. I kinda regret it already cos it’s a lot of money spent at once, but I’m trying not to be too hard on myself.

Hope ya’ll are alright. Let’s get through this week a little bit more nicely, shall we?

The Fuck We Cooking This Week?

…I don’t have a fucken clue. Yep, that’s how things are right now. Hopefully my brain will turn on soon.

A Few Things I’m Digging

Tortilla chips…Love Trader Joes’ fall leaf chips. They vanish so quickly, though, so no chance I’ll find them again until next year. Been a staple in my lunches of late.

Early sunset…I despise the early light in the morning, but the earlier sunset makes evenings feel more peaceful. Kinda validates my early bedtime.

Shops & Wish List

Fashion

Target…Really want to find some cute cozies to add to my rotation. Like these flannel pajama shorts and perfectly cozy joggers (I think I was eyeing these last year but never got them for some reason). Outside of the comfy realm, I love this sequin jumpsuit. 30th birthday outfit? Though, tube top fixtures sometimes make me look weird since I have heavy shoulders. This faux leather skirt gives off major big city vibes to me. Kinda like it with a chunky sweater.

Skincare & Wellness

Tree Hut…Maybe a little early for the holiday scents but I loved the candy cane scrub last year and will probably purchase again, along with the lip butter. I’m curious what winter wonder smells like…I need to try these hot cocoa and cookie masks and this candy cane eye mask. Considering picking up this Sunday Riley Day + Night Bright set to try out.

Kitchen & Dining

Crate and Barrel… This gold rim French wine glass is super pretty for any holiday table. If you’re thinking about Christmas already these stackable wood serving bowls are adorable. Shaped like a tree! And this penguin cocktail shaker.

Pottery Barn…These rustic forest cocktail glasses are gorgeous, and holy shit how cute are these peppermint salt and pepper shakers?

Week in Training

Monday, 11.6: 5 miles, 11:02 pace + 3.1 miles, 10:22 pace

Ran out of my usual electrolytes so had to use one with caffeine – I am definitely not used to caffeine before runs anymore. Felt jittery and weird all day, especially during both runs. Hopefully I’ll be able to get my usual electrolytes on Wednesday, cos man, that was unpleasant!

Tuesday, 11.7: 7 miles, 11:16 pace

Today certainly did not go as planned as far as workouts go. Overwhelming day at work, so I’m glad I managed to relax before I went in with a longer morning run. I overdressed but it was quite pleasant overall.

Wednesday, 11.8: 5 miles, 11:01 pace + 35 minute full body

Really proud that I got myself to the gym! Today felt much less stressful, and I was able to transition into real life pretty quickly and get done with what I wanted to get done in a timely fashion.

Strength:

• 4 x 12 alt lunge 70#
• 4 x 8 ea. chest press 30#
• 4 x 10 ea. row 35#
• 4 x 12 skullcrusher 40#
• 4 x 10 ea. side lunge 40#
• Core work

Thursday, 11.9: 5 miles, 11:10 pace

This run was about the only good thing about today. Yikes.

Friday, 11.10: 5 miles, 10:21 pace

Traded a morning run for more sleep and settled for a midday jaunt. It was hot out, this was not a “good” run on paper, but it was cathartic and I did feel better and more even-keeled. So I consider it good because of that.

Saturday, 11.11: 11 miles, 11:34 pace

Shit I should’ve run 11.11 miles! Missed my one shot. Was an okay run, it’s rather summerlike out and I think I still felt somewhat heat fatigued from yesterday’s afternoon jaunt.

Sunday, 11.12: 4.1 mile walk (1:01:00)

Midday stroll since I decided not to do it in the morning. Hot, but invigorating.

Total running mileage: 41.2