stove top buffalo cheddar mac n’ cheese

I told myself I’d eat less dickish this week. Then I pull this shit.

Oh well. At least I also made a kale Caesar salad.

I’ve admittedly been struggling with very intense, untimely, annoying cravings lately. I can probably hypothesize why that is: mainly, running 50 miles a week. When I run more my appetite becomes rather wacky, which was one of my least favorite parts about marathon training. I don’t know how to read my cues. Healthier options tend to bloat me or swoop right through my gut as if I hadn’t eaten at all.

Stress in life probably isn’t helping my cause here either. But hey, at least I get to go on vacation in a couple weeks. Huzzah!

I really don’t love pasta overall. Noodles are my least favorite carb source. But, I do love a good stove top-style mac and cheese, because it takes no time at all and makes enough leftovers to feed the whole goddamn neighborhood. Tends to taste better the next few days, too, even though the noodles soak up all that cheesy sauce (I actually love that shit).

Over the fall I whipped up a butternut squash mac that was quite popular, and for the springtime and in honor of my rogue pair of Franks Red Hot bottles I discovered in two separate cabinets, we’ve got this bad boy. Very easy, 30 minutes, a hint of ranch seasoning stirred into an impeccably creamy, spicy robe of cheddar and pepper jack cheese sauce.

Will I realistically eat all of this? Who knows. But I’ll sure do my damnedest.

Kids, Shield Your Eyes

We’ve got some serious noods flashing across your parents’ computer screens.

The ease of this mac is unmatched. Promise you’ll love it. And, you’ll love the fact that you won’t have to listen to my gobbledygook for too long. We all win here.

First, a nood note: I love conchiglie or shellbows for any kind of mac. The big nooks soak up cheese perfectly. You can use orecchiette or regular elbows if you wish, though. Or penne, even. I don’t give a fuck.

To start, melt some butter in a big Dutch oven. Stir in some ranch seasoning – that is, dried parsley, dill, onion powder, and onion powder – just until it gets a little fragrant. Buffalo and ranch is like peas and carrots.

Pour in some water and bring to a boil. Add in your choice noodles and cook until al dente, for however long your package says to cook it. They know better than I do.

Buffa-loaded

Important note: do not drain any water that remains in your pot. This starchy pool helps with the texture of the finished sauce.

Now, add in all that fatty goodness we love in a solid mac and cheese. A bit of cream cheese to start, and the rest of your allotted butter. Then, some whole milk. You can use 2% or canned full-fat coconut to no detriment.

Finish off with lots of buffalo sauce, shredded cheddar cheese, and pepper jack. You can opt to monterey jack if you want less of a kick.

Yep, that’s it. I serve this as is, maybe with some basil or chopped chives if I have them. I never have fresh chives, but it’s a nice idea.

Your pasta will expand as it sits in the sauce. This is normal and unavoidable, so expect your leftovers to be very thick. I don’t mind this, but if you do, add a touch of water when you reheat the noodles to soften the texture.

If you’re an ultra-carb person who doesn’t give two shits, some buttery crostini would taste divine with a bowl. I like a side of steamed broccoli or a salad myself. Do what sounds right for you.

Tried this recipe out? Leave a rating and comment below with your thoughts, and don’t forget to come say hi on Instagram and show me what you made!

Mo’ mac, mo’ problems:

Stove Top Butternut Squash Mac n’ Cheese

Greek Macaroni Salad

No-Boil Spinach Artichoke Mac n’ Cheese