swirled coconut hot fudge oreo sheetcake

Today is my 28th birthday.

Because this post + cake is an ode to the day I was born, I hope you don’t mind me taking a moment to reflect.

I’d say when I passed age 25, I’ve grown more indifferent to birthdays. I’d go as far as claiming to not know how to celebrate them. For some people who are more social, more energetic, birthdays are a big bonanza of friends, drinks, and a late evening cheersing and nibbling and perhaps dancing. For others, a big travel, a trip on the water, a bakery cake. Some people work. Some people rest.

No way to celebrate is truly wrong. But I’m not sure which camp into which I fall. Despite my blown up demeanor, I’m a big time hermit. I’m awkward. I’m unsure what to expect of people and don’t, in turn, want to expect anything. I’m not good at capturing and keeping friends. Capturing. A funny term. I want nice things and a pleasant array of activities but I don’t want attention. I guess, then, a being of many contradictions.

This over time has complicated birthdays. They should feel special, but rarely do now. I don’t want to plan anything, don’t want to get too eager lest I become disappointed. I’m a person stuck between wanting and avoiding. I want to think of something creative, but don’t want to reserve too big a brainspace for such. I want to think of the future and not what I haven’t done over the last year. That’s the worst part. Thinking I’ve completed nothing but another stage of stagnation.

This is truth, this writing. Sometimes I like to show off a more human side rather than my usual please-fuck-off demeanor. Which is very much me, thank you. I’m not always happy, not always smiling. Sometimes I’m very thoughtful, and being so helps me work through the soil with my hands until I find a little budding seed.

The past few years, I’ve baked a cake for my birthday. I like this tradition because it feels ritualistic, grounding. A good thing to do for myself, and I know, unless something goes real fucking wrong, that I’ll enjoy it.

I often make layer cakes, but this year I didn’t want the fuss, so turned to this lovely Swirled Coconut Hot Fudge Oreo Sheetcake as my companion. One bowl, one baking pan, fewer dishes, so much chocolate and comfort and happiness. If you’ve been here awhile, you know any sort of hot fudge sauce is my favorite, and appeared before in my No Churn Vanilla Fudge Ice Cream. The same formula pops up here, minus heavy cream and plus coconut milk, to give a unique edge to the treat.

What the Fudge?

Seriously. I’m a total hoe for hot fudge sauce. Dark chocolate anything? Give it to me. Have you seen the Decadent Coconut Sipping Chocolate? Basically hot fudge sauce meant for drinking. Glorious.

This cake is accidentally dairy-free due to the lack of buttermilk, butter, and heavy cream. Instead, each component uses coconut oil and coconut milk where needed for flavor. This does mean some components are more sensitive to the air temperature – we’ll talk about this in a bit.

First – fudge sauce. Simply melt together chocolate chips, coconut milk, cocoa powder, Kahlua (a nice touch, but not wholly necessary), vanilla, and a pinch of salt until very smooth and silky. Remove from the burner and let cool.

Then, the batter. You can do it in one bowl, so yay, fewer dishes! First, beat together softened coconut oil, whole milk Greek yogurt, and sugar until light and creamy. Then, whip in eggs one at a time, and vanilla. Beat in the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt until just combined. Stream in the coconut milk until incorporated, then fold in crushed Oreos. I simply threw the cookies in a ziptop bag and smashed then with my fingers until I got rough crumbs.

Pour the batter into a 9 x 13 inch cake pan lined with parchment. Swirl in some of the hot fudge with a butter knife. Bake for 30-35 minutes until just set. Cool in the pan for 15-20 minutes, then onto a wire rack and into the fridge for 30 minutes or more. This part is extremely important.

I Melt For You

Except we don’t want that, cheesy romantic teeny bopper song.

The frosting for this cake is coconut oil-based rather than butter. It’s remarkably luxurious, but also a bit fickle. Coconut oil tends to drip and drizzle at room temperature and especially when hit with anything less than cold. Why you must refrigerate your cake before frosting it.

When you’re ready for the decoration, whip together coconut oil, powdered sugar, melted and cooled white chocolate chips, vanilla, and a tablespoon or two of coconut milk. When the frosting is thick but spreadable, stir in more crushed Oreos.

Remove the cake from the fridge and spread with a touch of fudge sauce to lightly coat the whole surface. Then drop the frosting onto the cake and stroke that shit everywhere you possibly can. Dollop a few more spoonfuls of fudge sauce and swirl into the frosting. Then pop the cake back in the fridge until ready to serve.

The cake must be stored in some sort of cooling mechanism (I honestly just didn’t want to write the f-r-i word again so I made something up) to prevent the frosting from oozing off the cake. That is, if you don’t eat all of it straightaway. If you’re really concerned about forgetting slabs on the counter, you can definitely use butter instead to put your mind at ease. The coconut is just a lovely undertone against the cookies and offers some consistency in the components.

If you’re feeling frisky, try out some peanut butter Oreos or another favorite flavor. I’m pretty traditionalist and keep to the original recipe. But you do you. It’s your cake, after all.

Now, I’m off to do birthday things. Whatever that means.

Tried this recipe out? Leave a comment below with your thoughts, and don’t forget to come say hi on Instagram and show me what you made!