Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Lightly grease two large baking sheets.
Use a vegetable peeler or a very sharp knife (carefully, for fuck's sake) to peel the skin off. Discard. Sliceeach eggplant lengthwise into four 1/2 inch thick strips, for a total of 12 strips. Generously sprinkle salt on top. Lay out on paper towels to "sweat" for at least 20 minutes. Dab dry and place on prepared baking sheets.
Drizzle with oil and bake the eggplant strips for 15 minutes. Let cool enough to handle, then add to a large food processor or high speed blender and puree until smooth. Using a cheesecloth or clean tea towel, wring out as much excess moisture as possible. You will notice a lot of liquid dripping from the 'plants!
Drop puree into a bowl. Stir in 1/2 cup breadcrumbs, parmesan, parsley, oregano, basil, rosemary, red pepper flakes, and a pinch of salt and pepper. If the mixture seems too wet still, add 1-2 tablespoons of flour. I was quite violent with my eggplant wringing so I didn't need this, but you might if you're less angry than I am. Cover the bowl and set in the fridge for 15 minutes. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain.
Lightly spray a parchment lined baking sheet with oil or butter. Add remaining 1/2 cup of breadcrumbs into a small bowl. Form a 1 inch meatball out of the eggplant batter and roll into the breadcrumbs. Set onto baking sheet. Repeat with remaining batter. I got 16 out of the batch. Spray the meatballs with a bit of oil and bake 15-20 minutes until crisp and golden.
Serve meatballs over pasta with marinara sauce and additional parmesan, as desired.